There has been a growing trend in recent years, not only in the United States, but within most Western countries. Young men are opting out of relationships. This is a trend that has been on the rise for the past decade. A trend that is not only rapidly growing, it’s being embraced by men who have never been married, or fathered children. But why?
Consider that in the United States alone, 40-50% of marriages end in divorce, which averages out to one divorce every 36 seconds. When one does the math, the numbers are staggering: 876,000 divorces per year. Divorces in which the male stands to lose his estate, his children, and more often that not, his reputation. I’m not anti-woman. And I know that upon writing this, I’m going to take heat. I don’t care.
As a man, I could write a novel about our imperfections. Believe me, there are days when I can’t even stand my own company. So I don’t lay the blame with women alone. But what about our culture has changed so drastically, that is causing men to not only “opt-out,” but to write off romance all together?
Let’s examine some key points:
The Death of Privacy
Like it or not, your life, and your relationship are no longer a private affair. With social media and smartphones, every aspect of your life is public. Including your relationship. If you and your significant other have a quarrel, by lunchtime this is breaking news. I’ve experienced this more times than I’d like to admit. Nothing is private anymore. A healthy relationship simply can not thrive in an age where, every moment of our lives are documented, and nothing remains sacred or intimate.
Try an experiment sometime. Check out a female’s friends list on social media. Count the male to female ratio. If she’s rather goodlooking, the males will outnumber the females at LEAST two to one.
In a committed relationship or not, at least a dozen of those men will be trying to sleep with her. Yet males are often scorned for having female friends, no matter what the intention. And you know this is true, ladies.
Another thing I see a lot. Let’s face it, people go to bars to hook up. We all know this. Yet I see an increasing number of ladies at the bar, wearing wedding rings, or in a very well-established relationship. Flaunting themselves, getting mens’ phone numbers, and calling/texting behind their significant other’s back. When men do this, it’s grounds for a divorce. When women do it, it’s “You were spying on me? That’s an invasion of my privacy!”
It’s hard to get to know a woman when she can’t put down her phone. It also can feel rather insulting when she’s texting other men over dinner. Think you’re exclusive, fella? You’re not. She’s got a whole roster of dudes just waiting in the wings. You better be damned impressive, and more often than not, she’ll move on to the next flash in the pan. Even if you do succeed, she’ll bench the rest of the team as backups, in case she gets bored.
Oh boy, here we go. Do I need to elaborate? Men are the enemy. We’re pigs. Women are the new queens of the world. Men have taken a back seat to a new, radical mindset. If it’s male, it’s wrong. Not all women are feminists, I get that. But the feminist wants you equally miserable, ladies. They need the company. Grab your pink hats and take to the streets, it’s your world now.
False Rape Claims
This is a difficult subject. As a Libertarian, I feel that rapists should face the firing squad. That is, when they are, in fact, guilty. As we’ve seen in recent years, sometimes these claims are false. This is disgusting. Not only because of the ramifications on the innocent party. It discredits ACTUAL VICTIMS! And that my friends, is downright criminal.
It’s not hard to see why so many young men are calling it quits. This is not merely my opinion, people. This is a new norm. It’s a self defense mechanism. Men are afraid. As much as we hate to admit it, we can be fragile, emotional creatures. We need security, love, and a partner. We enjoy feeling “needed.” In this new century, we don’t feel needed, we feel obsolete. Many of us have built our own “safe spaces.” Be it the virtual worlds of video games, the fellowship of other men, or the escape of drugs and alcohol.
There is a growing rift between the sexes. One that seems to be growing more and more everyday. We, as males, feel as if we’re on the losing end of a confusing, frustrating battle, where we lose no matter what. As much as we hate being alone, we hate heartache much more. We hate raising our children from a distance. Yes, we get our weekends, only then to drop them off to a strange environment, where another man puts them to bed at night, and gets them off to school. That is, when we’re even fortunate enough to see them at all.
I don’t think people who have not experienced this, can actually know what it does to a man’s soul. It hurts beyond words. And that wound never heals. It hurts our children too, more than I think we know. So let’s talk about the effect on children.
Some of the many effects a divorce can have on children are: emotional pain and suffering, insecurity, low self-esteem, agression, depression, poor social skills, and in their adulthood, higher divorce rates than those who come from a two parent home. Half of all American children will witness the end of their parents marriage. Fourty percent of these same children are being raised without a father. Children in a female-headed home are ten times more likely to be beaten or murdered. Yes, you read that last part correctly. And seventy percent of long-term prison inmates come from broken homes, or grew up without a father.
I understand, there are deadbeat fathers. There a lot of single moms out there doing the best they can. I know some of them, and I give them credit. But I’ve also seen men alienated from their children. Their crime? Their wife had an affair. But it’s a man’s world, is it not, feminists? I can already see the replies I’m going to get upon writing this. I’ll be labeled a sexist, a misogynist. I can see the women in pink hats throwing rocks at my window, waving signs that say “Don’t grab my pussy.”
I, however, consider myself a realist. The reality is, the dynamic has changed. Relationships and marriage are a game of Russian roulette, where the odds are firmly stacked against men. Consider that divorced men are twice as likely to take their own lives, compared to their married counterparts. In comparrison, there is no statistical difference in married and divorced women. Why? To many men, this is seen as a way to remove one’s self from the emotional and financial turmoil of divorce.
During and after a divorce a man will most likely face alienation from his children, financial ruin, loss of his home, his family structure, and ultimately, his own identity. More often than not, his children will grow to resent him at no fault of his own, no matter who initiated the divorce.
Taking a step back and considering all of this, it’s no surprise why young men are opting out. They feel no need to compete for affection. They feel no need to play the dating game, when in the end, they will most likely lose. So what does the future of love look like in the West? Bleak. Being someone who has many younger friends, I’ve seen a new class of men emerging. A class of men who have literally no interest in love, at all.
Consider Japan. Where in 2016, birth rates dropped below one million. Death rates in Japan now outnumber birth. There is a new class of Japanese men referred to as “herbivores,” who claim, they just can’t be bothered. Now, this can be attributed to long work hours, lack of holidays, and the absolute strain that motherhood can, and does have on a Japanese woman’s career. But one can’t help see the similarities to Western culture. Many Japanese men feel that in the end, they will lose. So they too, have opted out.
In the UK, we find a similar trend to the U.S. David Sherratt, 18, a chemistry student at Cardiff University. Is quoted saying “Hook-up sex is too risky for words,” he says. “Girls can wake up the next day and claim you raped them. I’m genuinely too scared to go near a woman — just in case. At university, I’m made to feel like a rapist all the time… I’ve never had a relationship and I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon. It’s just too dangerous.”
So in essence, when it’s not disillusion, it’s the fear of falsely being labeled a rapist. A trend that has been growing, and is in my opinion, out of control. Do I blame women? No, I blame our culture, and I blame feminism for making men the enemy. Ultimately teaching women to loathe males, and fear us. Feminists want empowerment, yet use a victim mentality to achieve this. And in doing so have discredited themselves.
So again, what does the future of love look like in the West? I’m not sure it has one. Men aren’t your enemy, ladies. In all honesty, you scare the hell out of us. Between financial ruin, infidelity, false rape allegations, or a life of solitude. I think the choice is obvious. I’ll drink to your self destruction.